This is something we have heard our whole lives, but I don't believe that guys and girls can just be friends since someone always wants more.
There are plenty of girls in my life with whom I’m just friends, at least. We would never court each other because that would be gross — and I know the feeling is mutual.
I do feel like we all have that friend, however, with whom we missed the opportunity. The one with whom, if the time were ever right, maybe you two could be together.
If you’re reading this article because you want to know if a guy and a girl can be just friends, the truth is that I have no idea. I don’t have any answers. I am just as confused as everyone else. Everyone’s situation is different, and I can only speak from personal experience.
It can get confusing: How can you not fall for someone you see almost every day? Someone with whom you have a close, comfortable, platonic relationship?
I have felt this way many times. Sometimes, these friends lead you on without necessarily intending to do so. You’re likely filling a void for them, as well.
I had a friend named Maria. I met her when i was was around 19 years old (though she is married now with no kids yet). She was older than i am, beautiful, and probably the cutest girl I've ever met in entire life. she was perfect, and she was every man's dream (at least that's what i believe). Everyone knew I had a crush on her, i mean everyone, and I’m pretty sure she did, too.
At a time, we were best of friends. we share almost everything together, she knew the passwords to virtually all of my accounts i had. My facebook account, my emails, including my bank accounts and i knew hers too, we eat together, walk together,and do almost everything together(except using the same bathroom). We were inseparable and nothing could come in between us, not even our families could talk us out of these friendship we built, it was pure concrete. It took me a long time for me to finally admit that i had a strong feelings for her, during which i became lost and helpless.
I pushed the feelings and temptations to the back of my mind. “I don’t want to ruin the friendship,” I told myself. But, maybe the friendship would self-destruct faster and stronger if I didn’t share my feelings. It can start to feel like a fake, one-sided relationship.
I felt like I didn’t need to seek a deeper connection with someone else because my fake relationship filled the void. Then, I would get mad when my fake relationship didn’t fulfill my needs, despite how ridiculous the notion of this gripe may be.
In my fake relationships, it was only my fake girlfriend’s job to be there for me as my friend. It’s totally healthy to have friends from the opposite s*x. I think everyone should have them, in fact, as they can make for amazing friendships.
However, I think there should be boundaries. Having s*x, for example, is probably something good friends shouldn’t do with each other.
Don’t get me wrong; you can totally have s*x with your friends, but a friend with whom you spend all of your time? Maybe not.
Oftentimes, you won’t need to have s*x with a friend to fall for him or her, however. Then what do you do? Hope that one day, she miraculously realizes what a wonderful life you two could have together?
Well, you stick around anyway, as you would rather have this person in your life than not at all.
Don’t hide your feelings if you find yourself in love with someone who’s supposed to just be your friend because falling for your friend will ruin the friendship, even if you ignore it. You must be honest with your friend and with yourself.
If you’re the friend with whom the other party is in love, don’t lead her on. Give space; set boundaries, don’t kiss or try to take naps together. You’re the reason why she’s confused in the first place. Understand that she may need space from you. Don’t use people as emotional canes.
Be honest and forthright, always.
